Creeping and Sneaking and Lies

“Surely it’s the intensely hot weather we are having,” I thought out loud this past weekend as I whipped through several wardrobe changes in a desperate attempt to find something to wear to church.  Then declaring to my husband “I always swell up, when it’s hot!” (Lie One) 

This is one of my oldest excuses for not fitting into my clothes when I put on weight.  It never really works in the winter months, even in Sunny California.  However, I used that line and others to rationalize myself all the way up to 227 pounds.  Now sure I did have medical reasons for most of my steroid weight-gain.  But I used dandy little diddies like this one to avoid weight reality for years.

Heck, I kept telling people I “just had a baby” up until the day I enrolled my son into Kindergarden.  (Lie Two)  See, I am full of these little fibs I tell myself to not deal with reality.  The problem is I’ve come too far and worked too long for too many years to go back to the place of denying, Denial Land.

I just spent 48 hours not wanting to admit I reached the top of my “acceptable” weight range plus a pound.  And for me, maintaining my weight is maintaining my sobriety.  So when I go up the scale for any longer than a few days, it’s more then just did I drink my water, exercise and write down my food?  (The answer is no to all three by the way.)

Confession:  The reason I didn’t do those things is because I was emotionally distracted by my son’s graduation, several recent birthdays and other normal life changing factors that caused me underlying emotional unrest,  resulting in me chucking my good weight maintenance habits and creeping up the scale.

So, in accountability to myself, God and every other person out there who has ever had a weight battle, I’m owning it!  I’m calling my accountability friends, talking about my stuff and getting back on track this week! (No lie.) 

I’ve worked too hard for too long and like my new self too much to take the old obese girl back.  But life is not perfect nor am I so like every other Joe and Joanne out there, I have to work at it.  It’s just not as hard as it use to be and I like myself now.  (That’s the truth!)

Today’s Reality:  Life happens and I have the tools to handle it.


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