In speaking to women (and men) on the topic of my passion, breaking those negative family patterns that serve as bondages in our lives, I fail to mention not ALL patterns are negative.
Family dinners, movie nights and random acts of kindness do not elude dysfunctional families. However, when there have been severe cases of abuse, addiction, adultery etc…(name your “A” word) the pain is often so enormous for so many years it becomes impossible to recognize any positive attributes of a family dynamic.
(This doesn not mean living a life of denial, pretending to have had a perfect life as a way to avoid addressing the issues that affect one’s current negative or destructive behaviors is healthy, recommended or okay.)
On the contrary, for those of us who have ever lived in the victim mentality, laden with shame, grief, depression and confusion it was simply impossible to see.
However, this week I received a blessing, a break-through if you will. It was my son’s 8th grade graduation and due to the kindness of one of my family members he was given a piano to play when he was five years old. Year after year, no matter what the financial struggle, downsizing, budgeting, I chose to keep him in music lessons, sometimes the teachers volunteering to teach him for free. And for the past nine years he has played privately at home.
Now don’t get me wrong, I certainly wasn’t raising a “closet musician.” He is just very shy about his musical abilities, being an athlete at heart. I begged him for years to play the piano at school during a chapel, music class or any public place I could view him. He declined every year but promised me he would play at school before he graduated.
True to his word he played the piano this week at his graduation ceremony (granted it was literally the last millisecond to keep the promise) yet he did it!! As he walked onto the stage in his new suit (another miracle, he wore a suit) in a shere “mom” moment I began to cry.
I knew he was pushing himself waaaayyyyy out of his comfort zone.
Yet pushing ourselves outside of what is familiar has it’s rewards, not only did he bless me with his performance, (and realize the piano thing serves as a real chic-magnet) he has decided he liked it so much he entering high school sans sports and focussing on music, by his choice.
Today when I walked by our 100-year-old upright grand piano I realized it was the generosity of one special family member in purchasing him that piano that paid forward the gift of music, which is a very positive family pattern to repeat.
I’m thankful to that individual.
For those of you who are still unpacking your old painful baggage in order to heal the negative emotions and behaviors that entangle your lives, keep moving forward. In the healing, God will give you a clear perspective on the positive behaviors you have to offer to the next generation.
Today’s Reality: Once your baggage has been unpacked, look for the blessings.